Motivation: Need versus Want

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Being a webcomic creator is pretty rough right now given how depressing everything seems. What use is storytelling in a world that feels like it is falling apart? I don’t necessarily have an answer for that, but I do want to write a little bit about why it is okay to feel tired, frustrated, and to step away from your work for a while.

Everyone has something going on right now, I think. Whether it is the big stuff that is affecting all of us, or more personal crises, it all feels like a weight settling down on every possible thing we do. For me it’s one of those things where I am second-guessing myself and my actions constantly: Should I even bother drawing right now given everything going on? Isn’t there something more practical – more useful – that I could be doing? The irony is that these thoughts weighed so heavily on me that I ultimately just chose to remove myself from the equation for a few weeks.

Mental health, specifically the discussion of one’s mental health, is still stigmatized. With everything going on right now there are bound to be clear impacts on the minds of creative people who are also particularly cognizant of the various challenges that are springing up around the world. In response to what I had going on, both at a personal and societal level, I opted to step out of the webcomic grind.

I find that maybe that was for the best.

I am back now, working on things and feeling better overall. I am still feeling stressed out by what I am seeing and experiencing, but I had time to really think and reassess what I had going on. I came to some decisions about things I absolutely felt I needed to do as a creative and things I wanted to do and I’ve made some changes. One was to step down as the editor of The Comicadia Herald. The other was to take my comic RGBots and keep it exclusively on Twitter.

I need to write, sure, but I wanted to be an editor. It turns out because I didn’t need to be an editor I could walk away. I need to produce RGBots and want a website. But I don’t need a website when I have Twitter. I felt the need to be part of Comicadia and want to help run it, but I don’t need to help run it, which is why I stepped down from my duties. I need to work on Cosmic Dash and for it to have a website, so I am sticking to Cosmic Dash having a website.

When it comes to motivation, I am thinking a lot more from the point of view of need versus want. If I need it in my life I do it. If I merely want it, given what is going on in the world right now, I can feel comfortable setting it aside.

I don’t know if this makes a lot of sense for anyone but me, but I figured I would share it anyway.